Noooooooo!

I don't want to go back to school, I like staying up late and doing all the stuff I've been doing at like 3 in the morning. It's been a fun holiday, atleast that's true and I have to thanks my friends for that one and my computer, wii, ds and pokemon! :)
Heart over head, gut feeling over thinking it through, I rush into alot of things, I could imagine myself getting married after dating someone for a month (but then no-one would ever want to marry me so I guess I'm lucky in that, lol). Sometimes I don't see why I get so depressed, I mean I'm not exactly stupid (in school, atleast) but I may just lack some common sense, I'm not as ugly and fat as I make out (doesn't mean I'm less ugly or fat, just in the back of my head I know I'm negative about everything about myself), also I live in a virtual world per se but than that's just me hardly leaving my house, like Near. I also consider changing my name everyday since I started to care about it all and not just agree with what my mum said, never knew what I would change it too but now that I think about it, I have to stay being B-something since that letter defines me, this isn't because of my recent obsession, I've always known it. I wish I could be like A, B, L and all the other people in Whammy's House who have the one letter names but then B is already a person, yet I feel like that letter is the only one that suits me. Another thing I forgot to mention on the day, congratulations to Gerard and Lindsay Way to their baby Bandit Lee Way ('Now we all know it was never going to be a normal name, just be glad they didn't call it Dracula!'), all I'm thinking now is that maybe all celebrities must be in a competition with who will give their child the weirdest name! Bandit, I suppose it could've been worse, now I have another reason to love the letter B...
Maybe I love the letter so much because the letter is the second in the alphabet, and the second grade (rank and quality) and I always consider second best for everyone, I'm never best because I'm always second best. Also, in alot of words the B is silent, and I feel like I'm an unnoticed person in the background like that silent B in a word. In Estonian, Icelandic, and in Chinese transcription, B is not voiced - just like me, no-one would care that much. Some people only call me 'Bee' because my old school friend called me 'B' so I thought you pronounce that as bee so it would suit.
I've been in love with many things recently, and people, most noticeably B.B. and L but then whose to stop me!
My mum said how weird it is how she hates blood and I love it, like I'm a vampire or something, she also mentioned how she hopes I don't become some serial killer because of it...

Friends.

I love you. <3x

Another Thing.

I'm going to cosplay as BB, I'll get to look like L while having fake blood all over me, drinking red liquids and eating jam. I can pretend to be L even, since he did that in a sense too. I only got the book yesterday (totally worth £9.99) but finished it already, how I love the way Mello narrates it.

I will be Backup.
I will be Beyond Birthday.
I will be B.
I will be B.B.

P.S. I just told my mum and she said she'll get me all the stuff for my birthday, which is a week before the convention, makes me wish I was Axel now, he's more expensive and worthy of getting for my birthday as I know I don't need much for B.B. compared to Axel (wig, contact lenses, red+black eyeliner, the costume he wears, the weapons) while B.B. will only need black eyeliner, pale skin stuff, fake blood, a white/black t-shirt (still deciding which one to go with), contact lenses (REDEYES!!), some baggy jeans and maybe some other stuff I can't think of now... no shoes, well, I'll bring jam too...

I'm so excited now!

P.S.S. She's using it against me, looks like I have to save my own money too, could get a better present then a wig, red contacts, clothes and fake blood. She's saying how if I don't do this, she won't buy it and that will happen until the end of summer (when she will buy it).

P.S.S.S. Kira killed B on the 21st of January 2004, now he will live through me. Light, how come you?! D=

~BB<3

How about...

It's been forever.
In my world, wednesday to now is forever.
Not much has happened, holidays started so yay but then ... it'll go fast.
And I'll hardly eat, like always.
My mum will get annoyed by that fact, like always.
Then it'll be school again, like always.

Today Jade and Jane came over, very nice people, except I was in my PJs when they were over, haha. I got pokemon on thursday around 4pm and finished the game on saturday at 1pm. I had huge breaks inbetween, got my chimpchar to level 77 or so and kept leaving my DS on but more or less, took about 10-12 (give or take afew) to complete, I got it a day early so I'm happy about that too.

I'm lucky to have friends like the ones I do, they really are the best. Some are so sweet and don't admit it, others are so trust-worthy and I know they would never tell anyone my secrets, I love that.

Tormented, I really don't see half of us getting in, even with make-up on, most of us don't look 15... they can't kick us out, just say to choose another film - Star Trek as I am not going to pay to see Angels and Demons (have you SEEN the reviews, best I've seen it get is C+ and like 2 stars)

That's all for now I suppose, see youuu anotherr timee!

BB <3~

...

I agree with Daria's post, I waste enough time defending myself against my mum without having the world being against me too. The only person I lie to is my mum, and those are white lies which do no harm to anyone. I don't lie about people for one and I don't lie to my friends, ever. You may not believe me or disagree but please accept it not go off and be like ohihateyouasyourelyingandwhatyousayisalllies.
No-one ever believes me.
I tell harmless tiny white lies, just like everyone else and even those are rare for anyone but my mum.

To my friends.

Jonu, Abi, Ren: I'm going to kill you both! I was about to sit down and realised too late, Abi ... how could you just let me fall?! Jonalda, TELL ME NEXT TIME! I'll get revenge on you both and when it happens to you, I'll laugh louder than what Abi did. Ren, at least you weren't that bad, I won't get any revenge on you.
Vonique: SHUT UP! I DON'T LOVE YOU AND NEVER DID, NEVER WILL AND YOU ARE DISGUSTING! I don't know where you got the idea from, why'd you stop on Abi and just pick on me? WHAT DID I DO?!?!?!
Abi: Seriously, you're like the sister I never had, only like I said, the only reason we're not sisters is because our parents could never handle us then. I could write a whole essay on how well I get on with you. We have never argued once and I feel like I've known you all my life, is that just me? You practically eat for me since I hardly eat. I stole Deathnote from you, we have long conversations about manga and anime and videogames! Music too, for that matter. We can go on and on and on about how Axel and Roxas have a best friend in 358/2 days but we can never rememeber her name ... I ended up calling her Vivi, that was total epic fail (Although she is called Xion, and has "strange connections to both Naminé and Kairi"). You are completely weird and in a good way, you have some sort of split personality which is funny and you randomly start talking japanese or talk about some anime thing which is japanese and utterly confuse me, just remember I never ignore you, if it seems like I do, I'm just very confused. Also, you're a very nice person and we never argue, you smile alot and I seem to have so much fun with you, I wouldn't swap you for anyone or the world. You inspire me to draw, seriously, you teach me to draw too for that matter! You're just a very great person to be friends with and I feel honoured you consider me as your best friend.
Ren: My first friend in my form, since I knew before when you came to my school fair. I was wearing my new MCR t-shirt, remember the boy who'd asked me out just the day before commenting on how 'good' it looks ... sheeshh. We get on well as we like the same sorta music, also photography, I'm just glad you didn't turn into a twilight fangirl like the rest of your lovely friends, lol. You are the Cookie Queen apparently, like I was last year but then ate too much and got sick of them, all I do now is eat Oreos all day.
Daria: Yes, this girl is the first twilight obsesser, which affected Jonu most as we can all tell. Also your friend is now known and obsessed over even more, I will not mention his name but we all know who he is, that's if you're in Ninh at least. I find it funny how they all say they don't love him then mention them everywhere once a day or more. You are always happy it seems, you smile alot for a person, I'm truely amazed by that. How can one person be that happy? I know you're not always happy, since that's impossible but you hide your sadness best than anyone I've met before. It's good you're cheery like that!
Vonique: She always cracks me up when she's not scaring me, I time I spend running away from you and getting creeped out by you is not healthy. Hopefully you'll stop! Recently you've become the Cookie King, yet everyone knows she's not hyper because of cookies... she's just ALWAYSS like that! A very fun person to have as a friend, also very clever so you can have a decent conversation without her being confused, unless she gets TOO hyper.
Jonalda: You obsess over everything, you're worse than me! Twilight, Robert Pattinson look-a-likes are everywhere according to you, like when you were in love with Cristiano Ronaldo in year 7 and used to talk about him allthetime. Can you love Dariasfriend even more? You are more hyper than Vonii, and Ren-Ren and Abi and Daria and me PUT TOGETHER! You have the funniest, most loudiest and weirdest laugh in the history of laughs.
Enanga: Gahh, you too are obsessed with IMVU and it is not a good addiction, I went there once and glad I came back to reality! I like gossiping with when it doesn't go on for too long or gets too mean, it's fun to talk to her and hang out with her too. She is also a very nice person and I hope we're friends for a long time!
Victoria: Very quiet but still totally awesome, you always have something very funny to say it seems, about your brother and just silly little things that we gotta know, it always cracks me up!
Jane: You must have the best taste in music, over anyone else I know, you really do. That sentence doesn't make sense but I can't make it make sense so leave me alone. (>.<) Anyway, you are also always happy and when you're not, you know I'm here like I have been before! You are the bestest at guitar hero and you know it, and Mario Kart Wii too (lol, insidejokeinsidejoke), I think you would win every competition there ever was with those games. Gahh, you're also one of those people that I feel I've known for like a zillion years and I wouldn't have it any other way! Hopefully this blog doesn't count as a network social site thingy, like our promise says we can't have any, sorry if it does since that'll mean I've broken it.
Lydiaa: You are loud, very loud and that isn't always a bad thing, lol. Not in your case at least! We really don't hang out as much anymore and the only time I see you is in the library or during school if we pass each other. You're a very lovely person and you are very talented really, you sing amazingly! I remember when we were in that band thing together last year, that was really fun and I really enjoyed it! You came 'round mine house than I went to yours, those days will be treasured.
Rory: You're like the only boy friend I feel close to, even though I get on better with boys it seems, I hardly see any ones that are best friends to me... You are very random and confuse me alot, I think you shout more stuff out randomly than anyone else I will ever know or already do know. This randomness also confuses me too, especially when you say something then when I ask you about it, you just ignore it and say something else random therefore REALLY confusing me. You too have good taste in music and games, randomly screaming how CoD is pissing you off and then sending me random stuff off youtube. You introduced me to the music I listen to 3 years ago, that changed it alot and I thank you for it, I possibly wouldn't be friends with some of the people above if we hadn't randomly starting talking on maplestory. I love talking to you, lately we have been more and I'm happy we are. Also, youarebeautifulandimuglyyourenotfatandiam. You're really sweet and kind, I'm glad you're my friend and even though you say you're horrible, I feel like you're not really, to me you're not at all and far from it.
Charlie (aka Galatea): He is my good friend, sorta named after my -nowdead- hamster, Charlie is a flying horse/unicorn without a horn (I like unicorns therefore he is one), he has been my friend since I got him for christmas in about year 3 from my old best friend (who I see nearly everyday in school but never talk to) and I happen to still have him. I sorta haven't seen him in about a year until I went to my old toys cupboard thing under my bed and found him. He's very white with these pinkish, silverish wings. He's also very soft and I love him loads, he listens to me and hugs me back (because sometimes, he's all I have). This may seem sad but I think Charlie is awesome so deal.
Mum: I love you, you've always been there and always will be, I'm sorry for every bad word I've said about you <3
Dad: You may be dead but you still inspire me every single day to keep on living, I know you want me to succeed where you failed. I know that it wasn't your fault and you did what you did for a reason, I just hope I can live up to you. I love you always, R.I.P. <3


I love you all.
BriiBee <3~~

Take my hand

Let's get famous

P.S.

From the picture, the person should know who I'm talking to. I can't edit the other thing on my phone and forgot to mention before so...
I don't think I should tell you it, not the questions as that'd just freak you out or something. One I could ask since you've already said the answer, only I'm not sure if it's true. The other question is too... personal? I guess you could call it that, but either way, I know I won't allow myself to ask it.
Also, I'm sorry about today, the whole Ness joke got out of hand I suppose, I didn't mean anything by it, of course it's not true! I'm so sorry I even said it, yes sure, I am a bully and a meanie but you're not so stop saying it.

I love you <3 x

What can I say

This weekend was okay, dunno what else I can say about it. Went crazy blogging on friday then said nothing on saturday and two today, I suppose that evens something out. I've been completely sad in a way since friday and not really making anything better either, fell worse actually. Sometimes I need to learn to shut up and not tell people as much as I do also so I can stop saying stuff I don't really mean. I don't really feel loved at all and as a person, I live on love and friendships. To me, a simple heart means the world...
Argh, the song that won the eurovision yesterday is so overplayed as I heard it about 10 times before the event, now 10 after.
As I was saying, I think I put my heart on the line too quickly and trust people too quickly ... love too quickly. I just don't learn, get hurt loads, cry alot and still keep doing it, I know this but can't stop it, if only you knew how much it annoys me.

Amazed.

Wow.
I never excepted this to happen, I'm so happy about it though.

Kyosuke Himuro feat. Gerard Way - Safe and Sound, from the ending credits of the movie Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete.

Lookie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5I7m_t3hZ4
With lyrics (no video):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYSeClJXt4Y&feature=related

Gerard sounds amazing, and this is for Final Fantasy, one of the best games around, I remember when I watched Advent Children for the first time and I cried so wonder what this one will be like...

I do this too much

This is all gonna end up being here for personal reasons. I post too much on here, I have problems and possibly obsessed. That's a first -rolls eyes-

I wish there was some other way I could talk to people without the internet. Not just a certain person like I thought, what about the people in my class that I only see in school, I know I'll probably never talk to most of them again after I leave.

~¡BeyondBirthday!

Obsessive.

I'm too obsessive.
I'm too obsessive.
I'm too obsessive.
I'm too obsessive.
I'm too obsessive.
I'm too obsessed.


Today was one of those off days though and it wasn't just for me, it seemed to be for nearly everyone I talked to.


P.S. I'm not gonna talk to that boy on the bus, I've seen him 2 years now and he has never come up to me or anything once so why should I? Also, I probably won't see him anymore as he's finished secondary now.

P.S.S. I suppose I always have my other friends, I dunno who I consider my best friends anymore either, I mean I know for sure that I have one, since she is like always there (ABI!!1!!!one!1!). I'm just one of those people that is too scared to ask if someone's my best friend, or those type of questions, I just can't really. Maybe I'm disconnecting again?

P.S.S.S. Should I ask ... ?

~

Secrets

There are things I want to tell people but I just can't. I know no-one will believe me, no-one ever believes me and I have proof for that, a lot of the time I don't even believe myself. Maybe they'll just ignore it or take it the wrong way, don't want that either. Sometimes I think I tell people too much, somethings should be kept secret sometimes. The thing is I don't think anyone knows me (thinking about it now, this excludes my mum and I guess Abi does understand me too... she's awesome like that), the real me, I suppose one person did but he betrayed me and that hurt, I don't learn from my mistakes though, I love too quickly and trust too quickly and just let myself get hurt. I've become less open recently I think, I know I still talk and say too much with everything coming out wrong and creating those awkward moments. Like if you were watching a film with your friend/s and a random sex scene comes on and you don't want to watch it but you don't know what to say, that's what I create by what I say a lot of the time, only much worse. So yeah, I don't think anyone really understands me but then no-one really wants to... that's probably why.

Edit:
I love you <3


~

Dearest Abi...

I officialy stole L from you therefore they are both mine.
LLawliet <3
BeyondBirthday <3

The obsession

Let's just say I'm not overly obsessed with anything a lot anymore, like utterly in love and overly obsessed... my mum says that's how I am with my computer but I do watch TV and play on my wii loads too!
I've been more zomgitsaanimemangagamefilmcomicdeathnote than usual. I am utterly in love with the picture you see above, it's too beautiful for words in my opinion. If only L Lawliet (Ryuuzaki) was real, he'd possibly be perfect since he loves sweets, doesn't sleep (like I stay up wayy too much), is extremely beautiful, the cleverest person ever and he seems to have a very different (in a good way) personality. I will now quote him 'coz I feel like it:
“Kira is childish and he hates losing… I’m also childish and hate losing.”
“This isn’t divine judgement, it’s the work of some childish killer who’s playing at divine retribution, that’s all.”
“I just can’t sit any other way than this. If I sit the way other people do, my reasoning ability drops by 40%.”
“Risking your life and doing something that could rob you of your life are exact opposites.”
“Will you be eating that cake?...say what you want, but I will be taking the cake.”
“If you use your head, you won’t get fat even if you eat sweets.”
“My number of friends has increased yet again.”
“...I know that line is a bunch of Bull…”
“Yagami Light… So I wasn’t wrong, but I…”

And Near quotes too:
“If you cannot win at the game, if you cannot solve the puzzle, you are just a loser”
“L the second! Pleased to Meet’cha”
“Nope. It’s over! Looks like you’re beaten L.”
“You, who’ve taken on his name, have managed- well, nothing.”
“To Mello, it’s like playing a videogame against me, I think. ‘See who gets to Kira, the last boss, first.”
“Which of us will get Kira first…it’s a race!”
“Making such a dick-sucker a spokesman…”
“For me and Mello, L has been the only person we adore, and the only person who deserves our respect.”
“You said she’s smart, but it only means she got high marks, and she’s actually a stupid woman”
“To kill me, a potential avenger.”
“I’ve wanted to make him taste his own pathetic failure with all my heart.”

Convs:
“Light: Okay. What are your symptoms?
Ryuk: My body begins to twist up like a pretzel…And I do headstands.”
“Misa: Light, Won’t you sleep with me?
Light: ...Why are you saying that Misa?
Misa: I know, after we catch Kira, right? Don’t be shy Light.
L: Please don’t be shy, Light-kun.
Light: I’m not being shy.
L: Don’t be serious about it either.”
“Light: Misa, I want you to know my feelings. I don’t want you to shorten your life by doing the deal, I don’t want to manipulate you like that. I’d rather live a lasting life with you in our ideal world.
Misa (tearing): Light.
Ryuk (thinking): Like hell you do.
Misa (hugs): I’m so glad!
Ryuk (thinking): All this girl does is hug…”
”Matsuda: “I wonder, is it about ten million dollars?
Ryuk: How many apples could I buy with that?”

I feel like I need to read DeathNote again, this time actually buying them not reading other people's, or watch the anime again... listen to the themes 100xxxx times over and love them then get bored of it and move on.

That's my random blog today.

~BeyondBirthday<3

Edit: (best conv about this blog ever)
Abbie the great w007 w007 says:
and dont you dare start obssessing over L! he was mine first......
you can keep bb thougb
*htough
*thougth
o flip it
BeyondBirthday <33 says:
XD
L is mine ... too
0.0
+ I love the picture too much
did you read my blog or something?
Abbie the great w007 w007 says:
ill share L only on mondays and wednesdays
no
BeyondBirthday <33 says:
Why? 0.o
Abbie the great w007 w007 says:
but i will mnow
now
BeyondBirthday <33 says:
lol
you'll hate me then...
Abbie the great w007 w007 says:
why???*sinister glare*
BeyondBirthday <33 says:
The L blog
...
lol
Abbie the great w007 w007 says:
RAWR!!!!!!!!!! noessssss
BeyondBirthday/LLawliet <33 says:
xD
Abbie the great w007 w007 says:
dammit hes mine i tell you mine
i keep him for his intellect
BeyondBirthday/LLawliet <33 says:
I stole him 0.0
Abbie the great w007 w007 says:
*sticks out tongue and goes to sulk*
BeyondBirthday/LLawliet <33 says:
xP

(IloveyouinthefriendiestwaypossibleAbi)

This was saturday

I spent most of saturday out with friends, something that kinda happens often but usually not with the people I was with that day. The school fair was okay but I hardly got to spend any time there since as soon as I walked in, I was asked if I'm going to the fun fair... I hadn't asked my mum but happens that she let me. We waited for Voniquè, who apparently was coming with us but she stayed with Ren and Jonalda as they weren't allowed to go. There was six of us, Abi, Daria, Enanga, Darie, Yolanda and me. We got a bus, which took forever and got our wristbands for the fair. It was sad that Enanga left earlier than us too, only we didn't really do much after she went except buy food, go on some rides and get spinned more than everyone else... I felt ro sick after that one, good the candy floss helped! The big tango ride, which should upload with this, was kinda scary if you ask me but it went in a blur and wasn't too long. My mum was amazed that even I felt sick though and was abit scared! My back really hurt after some of them, since it's not straight, there's a place where my spine sticks out somewhat which kept getting bashed against the seat and that even now sorta hurts.
After the last ride, Abi's bus pass card thing fell out her pocket and we couldn't find it so I offered for her to come round mine or something until her parents can pick her up as I felt it would be horrible for her to have to wait for ages outside there. She stayed for awhile, we ate some duck and doritos with dip (along with fruit salad) as well as playing loads of guitar hero, the time flew and she seemed disappointed that she had to leave, like I was. Oh well, it was a fun day and I hope something similar happens soon!
Then I played maplestory, and talked to my internet friends, even though I consider one of them my real friend even though I've never met him before, I don't think that counts sadly. I wish I had the guts to ask...
:D

Giroro... Belongs to Abi

Yeah, this is it :)
In school so no flash and dark :P

I feel special...

This is what I got with my animal crossing t-shirt when I bought with star points, I really love the little letter from Nintendo :D

Yay! :d

My new phone! x

This is me x

Okay, so I've been hoping to make a blog for the longest time... Then loads of my friends in school started to have one so I decided it was time! Well, what can I say? My name is Brigita but people call me Brii (like the cheese) or Bee (as in a bzzz bee), I don't mind what you call me really as long as it's not mean ... or something. I am someone who will obsesse over everything but since this has been happening since I was 10 (when all the teenager stuff started to kick in), I am used to it and can control it better than anyone I know (or atleast I think, you never know since it's more of a hidden 'talent'), at first I am all 'zOMFG!!' about it then afew days later, I will calm down. Right now I am obsessed with games and My Chemical Romance (like I've been for years, if only you knew how much they've saved me and helped me, the toughest and worst of times don't seem so bad anymore when I see them and hear their songs), a couple of months ago I ordered a t-shirt with my Nintendo Star points (you get some after you buy a Nintendo game - DS or Wii), it cost about 3000 (which is 2 DS', a Wii and about 10 or so games worth of points) and it was a light blue Animal Crossing t-shirt... It came the other day and I was soo in love with it! I felt like when my limited edition of The Black Parade is Dead came, I was over the moon!
Games, I don't know what I'd do without them, like I now I crave MapleStory (online game, I've played Global since beginning -4 years- with HUGE breaks inbetween and am back 'coz of my friendyy x.) I also crave Metroid Prime 3, since wednesday I've really wanted to play it, along with World of Goo, Mario Galaxy and Twilight Princess... While listening to all my favourite bands at the same time.

Music (I wrote this for my youtube) -

My favourite band is My Chemical Romance, I also love the bands Mindless Self Indulgence, Anthrax, Black Flag, The Misfits, Pencey Prep, Leathermouth, Taking Back Sunday, The Blackout, The Academy Is... and also, Mayday Parade, You Me At Six, Kill Hannah, System of a Down, Escape the Fate, The Used, From First to Last, Our Lady Peace, Queen, Iron Maiden, Say Anything, Panic At The Disco (RIP explaination mark xP), New Years Day, Symmetry (www.myspace.com/symmetry4321 <3 Best friend's brothers' band) Fall Out Boy (They're okay tbh, I used to liked them alot)ummm...I'll just go to my iPod and see the artist even though the list is hell long! (I love these bands just as much but I can't remember ALL the bands I love just like that) Okay...AFI, Aiden, Alkaline Trio, The All-American Rejects, All Time Low, The Audition, Avenged Sevenfold, The Bled, Boys Like Girls, Bring Me the Horizon, Busted (<3 Charlie xP), Cobra Starship, Cute is What We Aim For, Denali, Elliot Minor (on xFM there was a text about them: "Why are you play Busted tribute bands?" xD I laughed so much), Enter Shikari (<3), Every Time I Die, Farewell, Fightstar (<3), Foo Fighters, Gallows, Good Charlotte (<3), Green Day (<3), HIM, Hawthrone Heights (RIP Casey), Head Automatica, Hellogoodbye, Helloween, Idlewild, Kids in Glass Houses, Killswitch Engage, The Legion of Doom, Lostprophets, Madina Lake, Maximo Park, Morrissey, My American Heart, NERD (one song xD), Nirvana (<3), Paramore (not too much - stupidtwilightfangirls >.<), Plain White Ts, Queens of the Stone Age, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Rise Againest, Scouting for Girls, Sej Tankian (on my Kerrang! calendar, he is on my birth month ^_^), Simple Plan (They're on the Freaky Friday soundtrack xD), The Sleeping, Slipknot, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Smiths, Soilwork, Thrice, Thursday, The White Stripes, 30 Seconds to Mars...there are more but that's much my iPod! =]

That was long... That's me done, cya another day!